One of my guiltiest pleasures is watching WWE wrestling on Monday nights. Tonight's show started off with a bang, taking shots at ABC, the NFL, the NBA, the FCC and all the other nonsense going on these days. A trranscript of sorts:
Shelton Benjamin in wrestling gear grabs his belt, turns and looks VERY surprised and says "Trish"
Camera shows, naked bottom of legs, comes up to Trish Stratus in a towel, brushing her hair
TS: "Hey Shelton"
SB: "What are you doing here?"
TS: "Oh me? I was just taking a long hot shower. And where are you off to looking so pretty?"
SB: "Monday Night Raw? I got a six man tag match, William and Eugene need me"
TS: "Wh-Wh-What about my needs? What about Trish?"
SB: "Oh sugar, don't worry, you'll find somebody else. I mean you are the biggest slut of raw"
TS: "You're so uptight" Throws brush over shoulder "You need to loosen up and I know just how" Starts to take off towel ...
Vince McMahon (angry): "What the hell is going on here?"
Vince(stunned, almost stuttering): "It's a woman in a towel. I mean, this is uncontienable. This is scandalous. I can see the moral fabric of America disintegrating right before my very eyes. The sexual overtones, the racial overtones"
SB: Excuse me?
VM: Well, Shelton, you may not realize this, but you're an African American, And everybody knows, African Americans are attracted to Canadian white women with broken noses. Now, I'm sorry, but the FCC is not going to tolerate this and neither will I. I mean I'm not going to have a locker room full of miscreants and deviants. This is the WWE. This is not the NFL and it damned sure is not the NBA. Because of this kind of sexual titilation will send you and other professional wrestlers in to the stands to attack the audience. And if that were to happen, that would be the downfall of civilization as we know it.
SB: You know what? You really need to lighten up
VM: But I have a board of directors to answer to. Somehow has to uphold the virture .... Is he gone?
TS: Yup.
Trish drops the towel (queue Monday Night Football Music) and jumps in to Vince's arms.
VM: My God! Ohh. Oh yeah!
(try to make out, but can't because of Trish's nose guard)
VM: Are you ready for some wrestling???
